Finding a Great Good Place

          When I first moved to Madison I was lonely. In finding my way in this new community, I often landed at Barnes and Noble.  I began to realize that by simply walking through its doors, I no longer felt like a new person in town in need of friends. The smell of coffee, the invitation to learn and enjoy life in each book, the overstuffed chairs to snuggle into for an hour or more, and other people doing the very same thing felt good. Here I was among total strangers, but  I felt welcomed - not pressured or asked to quickly purchase and move on; but invited to linger, be among others, to join this ‘community’.  Here I felt included, creative, productive, and at peace.  It was in those overstuffed chairs that I shaped and formed my business, Spatial Impact.

What makes a public gathering place feel so good? This was the key question that a sociologist by the name of Ray Oldenburg sought to answer in his book, THE GREAT GOOD PLACE.  As he says in his preface, “My interest was in those happy gathering places that a community may contain, those ‘homes away from home’ where unrelated people relate.”  What drew people in?   Why did it feel like home?  What happened that made it different from other public places? 

Oldenburg named them ‘third places’ and defined them “after home-first, and workplace –second, these are the informal public gathering places that serve community because they are inclusive and local.”  His research discovered several qualities that seemed to be present in every ‘third place’.  If you remember the TV show, Cheers, you begin to have a good understanding of what Oldenburg discovered. A ‘third place’ becomes such both by the space given to that purpose and the atmosphere created by those who gather there.

Here is a checklist of some of those ‘third place’ qualities:

ü Serves as entry points for newcomers.  A remedy for stress, loneliness, and alienation.

ü Business is often conducted here, networking happens.  (How many coffee shops can you name as ‘third places’?)

ü The entertainment is provided by the people being themselves. The main activity is conversation!  Third places are where people talk about their problems – listen to each other in a caring way.

ü A place for all ages to gather. They provide a means for retired people to remain in contact with those still working and allows the oldest generation to associate with the youngest generation. (Have you walked into a McDonald’s lately?  You’ll see the retired business men gathering for fellowship and moms in conversation while their children play.)

ü Inclusive of differing thoughts, ages, sexes, and vocations.  Accessible to general public with no membership or exclusion.

ü Allows people to come and go. Third places that render the best and fullest service are those to which one may go alone at almost any time of the day or evening with assurance that others will be there.

ü Access to them must be easy if they are to survive and serve. Location needs to be within walking distance or easy parking and open long hours.

ü Typically a non-pretentious décor which encourages the abandonment of social pretense.  Regulars of third places do not go home and dress up.  They come as they are.

ü The persistent mood of a third place is playful, cheerful, upbeat. One goes there to feel better and usually leaves in a good spirit.

ü The regulars make a third place come alive.  This defines the character of the place – providing an infectious and contagious style of interaction.  Cheers style!

The back cover of Oldenburg’s book says . . . “Third places or great good places are the many public places where people can gather, put aside the concerns of home and work (their first and second places), and hang out simply for the pleasures of good company and lively conversation.  They are the heart of a community’s social vitality and the grassroots of democracy.  .  . This is a compelling argument for these settings of informal public life as essential for the health both of our communities and ourselves.”

What’s your favorite Third Place?   Would love to know what makes it a Great Good Place for you!